“All The Good And Bad In My Life Has Brought Me To This Juncture. And If Given A Chance I Would Love To Relive Them, All Over Again.”
How do I begin? In fact, where do I begin? How do I sum up nearly 24 days of Filming, 16 hours long work days, 5 hours of sleep and me turning 30 in the next few days, all in one blog? The answer is that I can’t. So I am gonna try to say whatever I can, however I can and try to make sense of it. So here goes. Tbilisi was amazing. More than amazing it was a life-changing or maybe I should say it was a life-evolving experience for me. Every moment was filled with learning and I am proud to say that I came back a more calm and sound man. I am truly grateful for this experience. Al though my hands right now are tempted to type the synopsis of my film and tell you the details about it, I know a time will come for all of that. And that time is not now. Now is the time of transition. Of learning. Of walking into the unknown. Of becoming 30. So my dear readers, buckle up ‘cause you are about to enter the 30’s zone …
"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."
Do I miss Georgia? Yes I do. But do you know what I miss the most? I miss working. I miss waking up everyday by 5am. I miss sleeping for only 5 hours in a day. I miss Working. I miss the purity work has. I miss everything about work. And if you tell me right now that I have to go for another 30 days-16 hours work day-5 hours of sleep schedule, I would leave in a heart beat. Can I be honest with you? A part of me never wants to come back home. A part of me always wants to work. Work, work and work. It is a different high you know. You know the feeling of your legs hurting, the body crying for rest and your eyes longing for sleep, I love those feelings so so much! And yes, I have a dream and in that dream I never stop. I never stop working. I never stop giving. I never stop living. Now, I am home and now I have many beautiful memories with me. Memories, which won’t be forgotten for a very long time. They say na that All’s Well That Ends Well. Well, that is how I would sum up my trip. No matter whatever we went through. Whether it was challenges, adversaries, egos, intolerable people and daily complications, we all, as a team, reached our target and accomplished our mission. And for that I thank everyone and all who were a part of this project. Thank you for being a part of this beautiful journey with me and thank you for the beautiful memories which will always be a part of me for years to come.
"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."
You know there was this driver over there. His name was Illo. He couldn’t speak english and I couldn’t speak georgian. But every morning without fail, we would exchange good mornings greetings with each other. He would say “Mimoh” and I would reply “Illo”. And that became our thing for 24 days. And al though our conversation never went more than that, we became very good friends and I do miss him. Our technical crew was very strong and I know that the only reason we managed to do such fantastic work was because of them. Baz Luhrman, once said a very beautiful thing during the making of his film Australia. He said, “Movie Making Is Like Drawing A Painting. Except for in Film-Making, everyone who is a part of the film is holding the Paint Brush at the same time and drawing the painting.” So ya, it was only because of the support we had that we finished the film on time. And the best part is that I managed to make some wonderful friends also. People with whom I am now constantly in touch with. People whom I know I will be working with again very soon. If you reading this blog, know that I miss you and I am truly grateful to have met you and know that I will always cherish what I have learnt from you.
"There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."
Of course, tbilisi and in fact, the entire georgia was a delight to the eyes and to the tongue. If the scenery was breath-taking, the food over there was out-standing also. I didn’t have any cheat days there but on the last day, I managed to eat all that I could! Whether it was the famous Khachapuri, a Roti filled with Cheese or the Khinkhali, a dim-sum kinda of a dish which consisted of soup, beef and pork, I ate all that my eyes could see and my stomach could fill. The wrap-up party was truly the icing on the cake as all were drinking and eating and dancing and enjoying. I mean, of course they had too. They had earned that right after 24 days of shooting. Of course, there were some whom we disliked or even to some extent, even hated but on that night, all were united for a cause which was much bigger than anyone of us. And that was our film. We let by-gones be by-bones and we hugged and kissed and made up, so as to say and we danced to Bollywood and Georgian Songs all night long, till the sun came up. Of course, what followed was a serious case of the hangover for mostly 90% of the crew but what transpired that night was truly a night to remember. A night which will make me laugh and giggle for many years to come.
"Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new."
I am now back home. Well, I have been home since sunday now and to be honest, normality feels surreal to me. But this is reality now. I am happy to be home. Happy to be re-united with my pets again. Happy to sit on my lazy boy couch and watch movies on blu-ray. I truly am. But a part of me is still there. In that fire. In that busy routine and I know that my soul longs for it. But all I can do now is wait. Wait again and prepare. But do you know what was the actual reason that I wrote this blog? It was because I knew that when I left a month ago for my shoot, I was somewhere still a boy but now, I know I have returned a Man. Not only because I am getting White Hair now. It is because I have learnt to let go. Learnt to understand that as grown ups we have to understand what is it that we need and what is it that we desire. I am happy for this growth and I am very happy to turn 30 this coming wednesday. No, I don’t expect you to wish me or send me gifts but I do wish that you connect with me if you have reached or crossed the 30 year old time line. Trust me guys, this is the age of maturity and leaning. It is only when you are 30 that you can say that you are a grown up. I know. I feel like one. And for the record, a grown up doesn’t mean that you have to have a serious expression on your face and only answer when asked. I still play video games. I still love electronics and I am still a hardcore WWE Fan. My hobbies or actions don’t make me a boy or define me as a man. But my will to understand does.
"Presents don't really mean much to me. I don't want to sound mawkish, but - it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love."
I will be watching Lincoln on Blu-Ray soon and yes, I am excited to see it. The reason I told you that is because this is a sign that I am back to my old routine. The normal routine as I call it. But this also is a good routine you see. In fact, this is the routine which is filed with tests and trials. You see a man is most tested when he has nothing to fight for. But on the contrary, I know I will always have something to fight for. The Fire In Me Still Burns. I still long for war. And I know that I will find my fight again. This journey which I embark upon again is mine and mine alone. People can wish well for me and be there for me but in the end this will always be my fight. To get up everyday. To go to the gym. To do my voice practice. To improve my diction. To put on my Mma Straps. To go to war. This is will always be ‘My Thing’ to do. And I understand that now. I have also realised that nothing and no one is bigger than their destinies. We all come with a Fate attached to us and all that we can do is the best within the limits that have been given to us and leave the rest to destiny to take shape. I still have many desires you see. I still have many wants. And to be honest, I know I will always want more. Things which closed ones may not understand and sometimes even misinterpret. But I am who I am and I know this is what I will always be. And if a part of me will always want more I know now that a part of me is also very calm and trusting the universe completely. Yes, I do. Whenever a small calamity comes my way or if I don’t get what I expected to get, I just close my eyes and say, “I Trust The Universe. I Have Complete Faith In It. And I Know That The Universe Has A Better Plan For Me.” And since the time I have been telling this to my self, I have become more calm and composed ‘cause I know that everything happens for a reason and all of us are destined for some greatness or the other. If we believe in ourselves and in our dreams then we should also believe in the universe and have faith that something great is stored for us. And sometimes, it isn’t what we planned but it is something way better.
"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."
If last year, it was a time of redemption for me, this year, it is all about growing up and trusting the universe. It is all about having Faith ‘cause I have come to the conclusion that we can only do what we can do and the rest is all up to our destinies. When Napoleon was told that in his hands there weren’t any lines which proved that he would one day conquer the world, Napoleon took a knife and cut his hand and made that line and stated that, that was the line of his fortune. Al though that is a very motivational and inspirational story for all young bloods out there, the truth is Napoleon was always destined to be who he was. Just like we all are. Of course it is scary to walk into the unknown. But no matter how scary it is, when you have Faith, that same fear turns into a rush of excitement! I am in that state now. Walking towards oblivion and yet excited about it. I now have complete trust in the universe. I am now listening to everything and anything the universe is throwing at me. Whether I am at home or going out for a film or catching up with friends, I know the universe is trying to tell me something. And that ‘something’ is surely something ‘spectacular’ for me. I just know it. But does this change of calm and composure change me as a person? No. It doesn’t. ‘Cause I am going with my gut. Whether it is getting that Pink T-Shirt or watching the 50’s Classics Film or meeting that Friend I wanted to meet for years, I am waiting for My Gut, My Conscious, My Soul to tell me what to do ‘cause My Soul is directly intervened with the Power Of The Universe. I guess, yours is also. If you stay quiet and hear a little longer, you will hear that silence also.
"We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be."
So I am turning 30 on Wednesday. No, no grand plans yet. But if I do plan to celebrate, I will blog about it and surely give you the minute by minute details. But turning 30 isn’t a bad thing at all. In fact, from what I have heard, Women like Men above 30 and Men tend to become more wiser and mature after the age 30. So I guess I am entering a very important year of my existence. But does turning 30 really change me as a person? The answer to that is NO, it doesn’t. It just makes me more wiser that I was yesterday. I am still a loyal devotee of The Punisher. Thanks to the Marvel Phone App, I get to read all the latest Punisher comics on my phone. In fact, I just finished reading one now. I still love Mma and I still watch all the UFC Pay-Per-Views. In fact, I am very happy and delighted to say that at UFC 175 Chris Weidman, my favourite mma fighter, retained his Middle weight championship belt. I still never forget to watch RAW and Smackdown and thanks to my buddy Bhushan, I got the latest John Cena Tees as a birthday gift! So ya, I am still the same guy. Even when you will meet me, I will look the same. Henna said I still look 27, so I guess that is a good thing. But no matter how I look and what I do, I also know there is something new in me. Or maybe, I guess something has awakened in me. A Sense of Moral and Understanding. A Feeling that I never knew existed. A feeling of gratitude and deep thanks to the universe. A Faith that I never had before. A love in the unknown. A Belief in my dreams and knowing for a fact that in the end, everything is going to be alright. A sense of calm and resolve. A Trust in the Universe and a fire like never before. A want for war. A feeling of peace. And a Hunger to achieve more. And the confidence in me. You say, “When It Is Meant To be, Then It Is Upto Me.” So as always, I will go back to my duties. I will go back into the time and evotion it takes to carve out the best in me. This is my struggle. This is my battle. My war and my quest. So it will always be up to me. You see, the fire is still there. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I am doing. It doesn’t matter whether I am at Tbilisi or Mumbai or whether I am Filming or at Home, the Fire In Me is still there and my body craves for Pain. The sound of Iron, the stink of Sweat, the bruises on your knuckles after an amazing Mma session and the taste of chicken breast and boiled vegetables. My mind, my body and my soul crave for The Giving ‘cause in the end, when you rip away all of my imperfections and impurities and feelings, I am a Soldier who wants to Train and Prepare and Give and Fight. I am who I am. Whether it is now when I am turning 30 or even when I will enter my 60th year. I will always be the guy who will wake up and fight another day. As Bhushan states it, “One More Round Bhai. One More Round."
"Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time."
I thank you all for tagging along in this journey called Life with me. I am always deeply touched by the love and appreciation you have for my blogs. And I won’t ever forget that. So, I don’t know where I will be writing my Number 31 Blog from but what I do know is that you guys will be there to read. Just like the Universe will be with me. As it is has always been.
"My life is better with every year of living it."
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And I Have Entered My 30’s.
With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,